Excuse the F bombs but there is simply no other word to describe how I'm feeling about things right now.

**** my "mother figure" for ever being in my life. **** her for making promises that she didn't intend to keep. **** her for running like a child when she found out about my SI, and **** her for making me feel disgusting about it. **** her for not still being in my life because every day, every ****ING day I miss her, and I hate her, and I hate myself for needing her. **** her **** her **** her.

I'm beginning to lose faith in all people (especially women... go figure?), and I am strongly accumulating evidence that proves to me that believing that things like Love is pointless because the only person you can ever count on is yourself. And in my case... well, ****.