Ohhh Billi!! Pity the ignorants for their lack of insight and humanity!

To feel so unloved and burdensome is a big, heavy weight for you.....get rid of it!!! Throw that yoke of emotional imprisonment off those shoulders and BREATHE!!! You are grieving over your Aunts death and have to contend with unfeeling souls.......the illness does distort our view on relationships, and so distorts others views on us.......

But your feelings are important, very important but we cannot rely on others to guard them as well as we do. Protect that spirit of yours.......it is what will get you through this wild terrain of stormy weather and tornadoes of the mind.

It hurts when people point out how "difficult" we are(I have had my fair share of that) and I say "I will continue to be difficult!!" because I refuse to settle for less than what I deserve.......I will not be put away to only come out when I am behaving for you!! I will not be anything other than what I am, just because what I am, doesn't fit comfortably with you!!

Question, confront, progress, regress, progress again and accept........You lose nothing my sweet, unless you were prepared to give it away. You KEEP being you, illness and all........because that is what IS. Do not change for anybody but yourself. The REALLY good friends will come......we just got to put up with the crap ones first.....

Keep the faith, trust the process........know that the Universe shall provide when you are ready to recieve.......love yourself unconditionally for you are very, very precious.....

In stillness and take very good care of you.......