Illustr8r~

I have to agree with jerrymichele.
Kids are your priority. Anyone even remotely a threat to them should be avoided at all costs. Anytime you find yourself confronted by any possible ill behavoir regarding your kids, (especially by someone you're involved with), should be an immediate warning sign and should not only be taken seriously, but acted upon, as well.
For Marcie to even suggest to you her feelings of competing for your attention with your kids should be enough to detour you right there.
She has her own daughter, which should have been well enough experience for her to understand your position with your two children. Instead, she was compelled to insist upon displaying ill intentions by demanding to take presedence of your attention, anyway. Not exactly rational behavior.

I'm sorry that you have gone through this with Marcie. From what you've stated, Marcie has a history of repeated behavior for the 'seek and destroy' maneuver. I have to say, though, count your blessings that it is over, as it was a recipe for inevetable ending, anyway, (and be thankful that you got out of it before it had effected your kids in anyway).

It's hard to really specify if Marcie is suffering from any disorders, despite all the information you divulged. It's unfortunate that she has these issues, but I honestly feel that you should not concern yourself with her issues any longer. You have done everything you possibly could, (and then some), to help her and yet she still refused your assistance.

Granted, she has past issues, (don't we all?), but she is well into her adulthood and can change her own path IF she so chose. However, this is a lifestyle that she has chosen for herself and will continue to conduct until ONLY she is ready to change it regardless of what you, or anyone else attempts to do FOR her, (and you have done far more for her than what anyone else has). She has no intentions of changing, and if allowed, she would have sucked the life out of you in the process of her scheme.

Also, sounds as though she prefers the dysfuntional relationships to either justify her existing misery, &/or excuse herself from taking responsibility for her own needed change. Regardless, you are far too nice of a person to deserve that kind of treatment...let alone the fact that, if you had remained with her, the effects she had on you would have been transfered onto your kids, as well.

You must attend to your present issues with your marriage first. Endure the healing from that, then you can move on and focus on a healty relationship for all concerned. You deserve that...and your kids deserve that.

I must also say..that your post has to be THE longest I've read on this site to date...lol....(and here I thought that I sometimes wrote long posts). Yours was great!
You should receive a "super poster" title just for the dedication required ..lol.

I wish you and your children the best and that all works out for you.

Shangrala