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I don't think your bf was being selfish. He does not have control over what other people do, if someone decides to break the house rules and your bf isn't there, it's not his fault.
If you know people in that house use drugs and you are uncomfortable with that then you should just stay away from the house. If the police came and found drugs there while you were there, you'd be in trouble too, even if you didn't do any drugs.
Calling that old friend when you know he has a hard time letting go of you is not a good idea. You should try hard to think of someone else to call, a girlfriend would be much better.
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