thanks :] yeah.. i guess its like... hard to see otherwise. and its kinda annoying, i really do wish i could just fastforward a few years, if i get better and get older and stuff, life would probably be... easier? as for weight, im now about 141 and 5'7/8, so my bmis in the healthy range. i dont really have the energy to diet though, but ive suddenly started hating stuff like toast and pasta and tea... all food just seems... bleugh.

my parents keep coming out with stuff like "stop feeling sorry for yourself", "you're so hard to please", "pull your socks up", "you dont do enough", "put more effort in, dont be lazy."

i really want to see my t... i dont normally vent much to her but i need to talk to someone properly that understands. well ideally i would be alone forever and not have to deal with anyone, but i dont see that happening or really being particularly practical.

my periods've gone waay off... im about two months late again -.- and yet im not allowed the pill to regulate them "because of my depression".
had about three hours' sleep last night, i feel... kinda ashamed of that. i didnt go to bed at a rediculous hour but i just lay awake for ages ;/ ive got another cold too, so i feel like utter crap. exercised a lot today, it doesnt make me feel any happier, just even more tired. but i guess sometimes thats kinda good because when you're that exhausted you dont tend to care about those "thoughts" so much... cutting out caffene entirely now too. it makes me... literally crippled, after the energy boost wears off.
i feel like the numbers lie to me because i really just am... gross. i have stretchmarks for the first time in my life on my thighs, and im really just one big blob. attractive -.-.

thanks "turquoisesea",
x