((((((((((Taonuviel)))))))))

You probably don't want to hear this, but I think you should call your pdoc's office and tell the pdoc that you aren't safe and need to be hospitalized.

For what it's worth, I've felt the way you feel before, but I've been much better for months now. I've had much joy that I would never have experienced had I acted on my feelings.

Please keep yourself safe.