((((((((((bananasarecool))))))))))))


YOUR PROBLEMS ARE REAL. If they are bothering you, if they are making your life more difficult, if you are considering hurting yourself because of them, then THEY ARE VALID. Don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise!!!! I know how much you've been hurting, I know how sick you are, and I know, just from reading your post, that there are things that are making your life very difficult right now and which need to be dealt with. Anyone who says otherwise is insensitive, uninformed or in denial.

Email the samaritans. It's their JOB to read what you send them. You're not wasting anyone's time, and it may feel good to get some of this off your chest. Why not write them an email right now but don't commit to sending it to them right away. Save it someplace and add to/edit it whenever you need to. Say whatever you want/need to say -- the great thing about the samaritans is that they're anonymous ... you can even create a special email account just for emailing them, if you like. You don't have to give any information you're not comfortable sharing. Basically, you call the shots, and having suffered from depression myself, I know how good it is to be in control of even one thing when it feels like the rest of your life is spiralling out of control.

There is help out there for you. There are people who care about and understand what you're going through. Please let them help you, and don't listen to the people who won't, because chances are, they simply won't because they don't know how. And keep posting here, where you will always be safe to say whatever you want and where you're not going to be judged for it at all. Sending lots of hugs.