It's good to let things out. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Although different, I was in a similar situation. My mother abandoned me and my siblings when I was only 15. She moved to the other side of the Country, and left us here. All because she found a man (while she was married to my Step Dad) and decided to move in with him. She turned myself upside down, and I still get pissed off about it. I try to say I don't miss her, I don't need her, but I do. Everyone needs their Mother. I get through it, but yes it is tough. The best thing to do, is to be around other people who love you. I go to my friends, the rest of my family, or even my animals. Animals won't turn their back on you, they don't know any better. Just remember, you'll be OK. We are all here for you, and I hope you have others in your life that are too. Stay safe.