Well, I came here to help others with their problems, and discuss mine at the same time. I will try to say this in the nicest way possible, but for someone who does not want anyone to die it may be difficult. I just hope I don't sound too harsh.

You are the Mother of this boy. You gave birth to him. He didn't ask for it, but it happened. Now here he is. He is looking for an escape. Apparently he feels like his only escape is to either do drugs and be a robotic being, or to kill himself. If he has made attempts before, then obviously there is something wrong. Now, I am not sure what kind of Counseling you have taken him to, but you need to be there for him as much as you can. You need to help him through this, because for someone who has lost a Mother, I know how difficult it is and I know that he needs you.

I think that you both need to take Counseling together. He is obviously having many issues, but as are you. Saying that you wish your son would finish himself off is a bit disturbing. I understand that you are very stressed, and probably very worried about him, but if you truly in your heart want him to die then there is something wrong. Especially since you did give birth to him. I personally don't believe you want him to die, I just think you are upset and you are lashing out. You need to find some way to cope with this together, rather than making him do it all on his own. I am not telling you to let him live with you, nor am I telling you to be all lovey-dovey with him, but I do think he needs you and I think that you should be there for him as much as you can.

Now, I agree with much of your post. Not letting him live with you is a good idea. If he is too violent, he does not need to be there. You and your family do not deserve to deal with his Violence, but you could help find him a home. Some Hospital or Shelter that would take him. Not only would that keep him and his violence out of your home, but it would keep him somewhere where he still at least has a roof over his head. He does need help with his addictions, and his anger. However, if he does not have you to live with and your house to be in, it may make him find help, and perhaps even change.

I don't know what all else to say. This is a serious issue that needs to be dealt with, but him killing himself is not the way to deal with it. I wish you all the best, and may God bless you both.