(((((bananasarecool)))))
First you are not a waste of time. You are worth our listening, compassion, advice, and support. We are listening and hearing what you are saying. We do care and are not going to judge you in anyway. You are free to say exactly how you feel and we will not feel any differently about you.
You do deserve to be heard and we are willing to listen to you. I think you writing to the samaritans is a good idea. They are there to listen and help. They are safe and you do not have to say anything you do not want to say.
Thank you for posting and trusting us enough to say what you feel. It is important to get out those feelings and it is safe here. We are here for you--to support and listen. We do understand how you feel.
Sometimes just being able to say what you feel helps. What you feel is real and your problems are real. Sorry you are having a hard time concentrating. But sometimes when we are felling so bad, it is hard to concentrate.
Please be kind to you and do something kind for yourself. And remember to breath. Just in and out slowly--and do what you can. Take one minute at a time and know you are okay. We do care and are here for you. Keep posting and letting us know how you are feeling.
You do deserve to be heard and you are worth caring about. Sending you a gentle and safe hug if that is okay.

dps