It is very sad that this specific issue is not discussed more often and brought out. My wife was abused by several members of her family. Unfortunately, some of the time with one specific abuser, she experienced pleasure and even wanted it. For this reason she lived with so much guilt that it caused her to become chemically dependent, affecting her mental health and a severe sexual addict while at the same time unable to be intimate with me, her spouse of 20 years. All these years of therapy, time spent in facilities and countless stacks of books, the subject was never brought up and her sexual addiction undiagnosed (kept hidden in the closet).

It was not until last summer while we were on a long road trip talking that I tentatively, and with great anxiety asked her about it based on mannerisms and actions over the years that brought it to mind (at the time I had done no research on it and it never entered my mind). It took about two hours of discussing it and me reassuring her that it was not something she should be remorseful over that she finally confided in me.

The hardest part, no matter how much evidence and support I & her therapist have backing us up, she still is so hard on herself about it. It breaks my heart and saddens me to think that if 23 years ago when we meet, if it had been addressed then, how much of our life would we not have missed.

Anyone who is feeling any guilt over this issue, I wish there was some word or action I could do to convince you that you are "ok" and to just let the chains go. I know that its easy to say but to actually release is so much more. Just know that you are not alone and many of us out here who have not gone through anything still support you.