Thank you for that, FooZe. That made a lot of sense.. And no, I don't understand why I keep believing what she's said about me.. I guess.. After all the friends and family I've lost and let downs I've had in my life, I believe her because it makes sense that no-one wants me because of losing so many people, But i get where you're coming from and I'm learning not to listen to her.

It is tough though. P7; I know I have to take care of me first.. And that's why, when I went home today and crashed (literally) --- falling UP the stairs to my flat, hitting my knees and blacking out for a bit, then going through stages of hot and cold and sweating, not to mention not being able to stop throwing up once I got to my flat --- I went to bed and got some sleep. I took some me time, I know it was just sleeping, but it was something to make me feel better and I know that it tok my collapsing to make me take that me time, but... At least I did?

I'm still not feeling 100%, but I'm feeling a little better after my rest and decided that my flat can wait another few hours, or another day to be cleaned.. I don't want to exhaust myself anymore. Everything's got on top of me far too much for that now.

I just feel tired all the time and like I cant do anything anymore and blahhhh. Can I have a hug?