Hi mj and darkeyes, thanks for the advice and notes... the things you both describe make sense to me, and on some level, I can't help but wonder if they are what's going on with her. Especially the need for a friend and safety zone while she explores this other relationship and takes it very slowly... I think she still wants all the benefits of having me in her life. The sad truth is that I can't just be that for her right now, if that's all she's doing (subconsciously or not). It's not very fair to myself or my feelings and needs.

The problem is looking out for my feelings and needs! I don't do a very good job at it, because I have competing feelings... On one side I want to do this to help myself to move on. On the other side, I want to stick around and be in her eyes as much as possible because she's a good friend and I still care for her and about her.

Ugh... I think I will do good again if I can just find some clarity in my own mind....