Here's something I've started noticing recently that I'm frankly kind of puzzled about: by now I've met a lot of people here at PC who've been abused in one way or another and who seem to be clinging to their respective abusers (or the memory of them), apparently unwilling to turn against them or away from them or move on. It's even starting to remind me a little of boxers going into a clinch -- where you hang so tightly to your opponent that they can't get a good swing at you, and you get a few seconds' respite from having to dodge and parry and hit back.

It may be that I wasn't abused severely enough myself, or that I never expected very much from my parents so there wasn't enough incentive for me to try very hard to win them over; but I'm having a good deal of trouble understanding those of you who are still giving yourselves grief in order (apparently) to somehow spare an abuser.

You and a few others have started throwing a tiny bit of light on this for me, but so far it's been mostly interesting darkness. You don't have to do anything; just keep talking. But know that I'm listening -- and puzzling over it.

Occasionally, when something interesting enough is going on, I can do with little sleep for a few days and catch up later. For the most part, though, I've found sleep extremely important. When I'm feeling stressed or depressed or most any other way below par, don't anyone dare get between me and my sleep or we'll be needing a trigger icon!