God I know the feeling. When I was is college last year I got so stressed out I stopped caring about everything. As a result I failed classes, hurt myself, did't enjoy the things I use to. The only thing I looked up to everyday was getting back in bed and obsessing about death. Sometimes suicide feels like the only way out. I almost tried killing myself yesterday, but some complete stranger spent his night talking me out of it on the computer. I too am stuck in the past and I'm not sure how to fix things. I feel guilty for my dad's suicide (happened 6 yrs ago) when I know I shouldn't because I was only 14 at the time. Please don't hurt yourself because I know It's not going to get you anywhere, it's only going to make you feel worse in the long run. Also, I totally agree about self help books - they look like a waste of time and money!