Its been a while since I've been here, and I was honestly hoping (No offence to PC at all) that i wouldn't have to again.

Im not sure what to do right now, so much is on my mind its preventing me from sleeping, its a problem i have, i just cant forget the bad and move on with the good.

Over the past while ive realized that me and my friends dont have as much in common anymore than we used to, and its sad because right now theres nobody for me to hang out with. I have tried looking for others like me, but im beginning to lose all hope in my search, because there isnt anyone. Its all high school BS too, they drink at parties and get "wasted" or they do such and such drugs, or whatever. Im not like that, and thats the problem, because i think im losing control on what i believed i was, or what i ever will be.

I could just ramble on and on about my garbage. Its just saddening that disbelief and fear is over-running my life, and im tired of it, im tired of trying to become something im not, and im afraid of what i might become if i let this continue.

Why not talk to someone? Because its something ive never done, and again, its the disbelief that anyone would be able to help me, because all they can do is show me the cliff that could save it all, but its up to me to take the jump.

Thank you for your time, I do appreciate your love and concern, but typing this out really helps me think, and its nice to see some feedback from all of you, even if i dont know who you are, and when you dont even know who I am, and this is why i come here to express my inner thoughts.