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today, i doubt there will be food but do you think i should keep a log of my food intake during this hard season of the year? thanks for caring. so many people just don't understand.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> YES!! Please keep a food diary/food log of EVERYTHING you are eating. While your mind is ill it will probably tell you all sorts of horrible things about the keeping track of your eating habits. Please know that almost everyone who has to start out keeping a food diary/intake log resists doing so and feels like it will just make things worse.

It doesn't. By being able to see what you are offering your body to live on the professionals will be better able to assist you by knowing just what they are working with.

The body is an amazing thing in that the more you restrict and the fewer calories you eat the harder it will fight to keep that weight on. Your metabolism is one of survival.

I don't think your mind is bad catgirl, I think your mind is ill. Just like a person who deals with depression isn't bad, they just have a brain chemistry that isn't "in balance" for what works for that person.

You are very brave to post here and to be honest about this. It took me many years to be able to even speak about my ED behaviours with others. For me I spent many years in therapy and with the help of wonderful friends was able to change the disordered eating habits I had developed. Unfortunately my behaviours went on so long that I do have permanent damage to my body from that time.

I still struggle with body image. I used to be much heavier. Many factor contributed to a sudden unexpected weight loss over the past two years and now being on the flip side of heavier to lighter I can honestly say I FELT BETTER and LOOKED HEALTHIER with more weight on my frame.

My body functions poorly when I restrict and my thinking spirals out of control when I fail to nourish my mind. Plus I am tired of being freezing cold all the dang time!

I am glad to hear you are making an appt with your psychiatrist next week. I hope that your psychiatrist and psychologist are willing to be in touch so that your entire treatment team is on the same page.

The goal being a healther catgirl who can enjoy a slice of pizza w/o stressing about the numbers on the scale the next day. And w/o thinking you've blown anything!