just thought i'd throw my $0.02 into the ring too...

i get suicidal often due to a history of...geez well everything...it doesn't really matter. i hesitate to share that with my friends and such on the site because of many reasons.

1. i have my t to call...thats what she is there for...thats what i pay her for...and if i can't reach her then i can call my regular family doc .

2. i have friends irl (which makes on line friends sound wrong somehow) who i could call..altho it would panic them to know end.

3. i could call a crisis line which would panic me.

4. i could go to the hospital which i have done. see above and also do i want the extended stay at chez bin?

probably the main reason i don't post here (when i am in that spot) is that i am aware that like me i am conscious that many others have diagnosisis (? that ain't spelled right) and my post will upset them. plus for as much mental health treatment i have had in my life...i am not a counselor, or a trained professional...some whom post here are, i am not...there are just some instances where responding to a post where my input might not be the best thing. when i am in that scary a place i want, no need my help to come from people who are trained professionals (sorry i know i just smashed some toes but its true)...my life depends on it.

and the same is true...when i am that vulnerable a triggered response by someone is not what i need. it might be harmful.

i actually like the no suicidal post thingie...it forces me to look for and use my other resources...like reaching out to my t. its easy for me to hide from her when i am in pain...and i fear i would do just that if i could just post here.

honestly if there was a place to talk about it i would be afraid there might get into a well i have done this and this a # of times kind of thing...i'm very open about my attempts if asked but i don't feel proud about them...the pain that caused them is still around and so is the struggle.

i do thing there should be a seperate catregory listed right up with the others (like depression, bipolar, etc) suicide: resouces, #,s , etc. everything you need in case of an emergency. and it should be kept updated and current and non judgemental.

well maybe is used a few more cents...sorry bout that.

stumpy
who is having a pretty good day