Thanks Shangrala, you are so wise...Thanks for couraging me...your reply brought tears to my eyes....Yes, I'm so compassionate....I feel love for everybody even those who are not good to me...That's why sometimes, I can't recognize between those who trys to harm me and those who loves me....
Last night was definitly end of the era for me....He tires to turn me on by dancing with me and looking into my eyes and pooling me close to himself and then he tries to ignore me....I'm tired of his childish game really....for god sake we are 35! See, now the question of age is coming up....no matter what age one can be, it can be either so imature or so mature!!!
For me, dancing and clubbing are just a hobby or exercise, but for him it's half of his life....after works he goes there...every single day....and weekend! I told him before that I don't see any future with him and I'm not in love with him...I know these are pissing him off so much....
Well....I was feeling so much stress and pain on my chest last night and in the morning and I wanted to get rid of it...that's why I cried...I forced myself to cry and I feel so light now....I didnt' cry for not having him at all...He's just a useless individule who's seeking happiness in wrong places...but if he's happy with that so good for him...I can't be happy like that....I can't get connected with those in the club at all...I'm highly educated and I read a lot....I enjoy intelectual conversation....
Last night, I found out I have to stay away from the places that he goes...but dance class is okay...he doesn't bother me there at least for now!
thanks again for your support....I'm sure time will be the best cure....
I might cry today, but laugh tomorrow....
with love
Marjan