Hi Hope,

I completely agree about the talking and the anxiety. We think that we can talk it away somehow, but it just doesn't work - never has with me anyway.

The only thing that has ever worked for me is going right into the anxiety, as much as I hate it, My God how I hate it.

I used to do all sorts of displacements, finding fault with my partner, blaming my past - talk, talk, talk.

Now I try to do just one thing. I say to my partner - "The illness is back, I am finding it hard now". That's all I do. Then breathing, relaxation (if you can call it that) maybe taking a walk on my own. This way it's easier for her, and I have the comfort of knowing I am facing the anxiety - square on.

A funny thing. Since I got better at facing the illness my partner has realised how hard it is for me. With the talking she was probably all confused, smokescreened, but watching me take the anxiety has really impressed her somehow. It's as if she can see it.

I hope some of that makes sense.

Peaceful (non anxious) thoughts to you.

Myzen.