ED,
Thank you for sharing with such honesty...it took courage and I applaud your efforts.

You are going through a very hard time right now, and I'm so very sorry.
So much responsibility was dumped on you from an early age, it's easy to understand why you are hurting so badly right now.
Loneliness is one of the worst feelings as far as I'm concerned...
We go through so much, think we have found someone to love and be loved back, and it's devastating when they turn away from us.

Are you in therapy? Or at least have someone in real life that you can talk to/trust?
I'm glad, though, that you found PC. There are many caring and supportive people here.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, ok?

...and please don't think your experiences are less painful than anyone else's...yours are just as important!!

Catherine