Hope your meeting went well, or at least not too badly. I always feel terrible that I have to unload stuff on my therapist. I'd just like to be able to say, "I had a nice week" for once. But I'm always thinking awful things and feeling terrible too. So you're trying to cut back on drinking and smoking. We all are trying to cut back on something and do something more positive for ourselves. Sometimes we have setbacks. That which doesn't ... you know the rest. Feel better and like someone else said, don't beat yourself up. That's kind of what drinking and smoking is all about...temporary changing of moods/feelings, with the result of slowly killing yourself. Be nice to you.