SummerSun, I'm so sorry for all that you're going through. I'd like to encourage you to talk to a professional about this... It could help, especially with your self-esteem issues. I know how awful it is when you hate yourself and the way you look. No one deserves to suffer like that or to think they're that horrible. I don't know if this helps, but I really think you are a beautiful person who deserves so much more from life. You're SO far from being the ugliest person on this earth...
Take good care of yourself