so my boyfriend came over today...
spending time with people... oh fun.
but i wanted to see him.

and it was all kinda getting on ok, i was sorta trying to hold it all back and remain composed...
... and then i went quiet and kinda still..
and i just burst into tears.

and he thought that it was his fault. so he got upset. he cried, which is odd because i havent ever seen him do that before.
obviously i didnt say what i wanted to... but i want out. not of that relationship, of EVERYTHING. i dont want to take it anymore.
... so...yeah... i managed to make yet another person - the one that i seem to care most about - CRY.

........................................... and he didnt get that it wasnt his fault.

so for the last few hours i've been laughing and smiling and trying to make out that im "ok". i probably overdid it but id rat

note to self; dont cry in front of ANYONE.

god i hate being so pathetic ;/

x