Your life is NOT boring or insignificant(sp?), we all have a purpose here, in the world, even if it is a passing smile.
I wish I had a solid answer for you and to what is happening or happened.
All I can say is please hang in there, in time things do get better, like the real life stuff I told you in a PM.
Dear person, so much coming to you at once, so very difficult I am sure.
But it can work out, remember I told you in a PM that it can.
Believe in yourself, realize you are a good person, you are not alone, and people do care about you.
Such a heavy load. . . therapy will help.
Never ever feel ashamed to get help, and never deny yourself of the possibilities that await you.
Please take care now.

Much light and love to you,
DE


Never see yourself as "evil", you are NOT evil.
DE