I'm not sure if this is the right forum to post this, or if I should post this in Survivors of Abuse. I've wondered about this for a very long time, but it's highly embarrassing to me, so please bear with me.

For as long as I can remember, when I feel an extreme emotion (anxiety, deep sadness, fear), part of my physical reaction is increased vaginal lubrication. For example, when I'm in a session with my T, and a topic comes up that is difficult for me to discuss, I'll have this reaction. But this has been going on for years and years. I have no idea if this is a normal response to increased stress, or if it's just my norm. I tried doing an online search, but I only found info on vaginal dryness, or excessive vaginal lubrication affecting sex.

I've been in therapy for a few months now, exploring my past. I'm starting to deal with the fact that I was disciplined more severely as a child than most by my mother, as far as spankings by hand, wooden spoon, paddle, hair brush. There is a lot of fear coming up in me recently, also showing up in my dreams, about going back to these childhood memories. However, I don't remember anything about SA, nor do I think that any of my relatives would ever do that to me. But I've always been able to strongly relate to SA and r*p* victims in TV shows and movies; in fact, that's another time when this unusual physical response happens. And please understand, it's not that I'm turned on by what I'm seeing, it's a genuine emotion that I feel of anxiety and sadness when I watch that. But I seek out those shows to watch (like Law & Order: SVU) - why, I don't know.

I'm in my early 30s, overweight (my T says I use my weight to hide my sexuality), and a virgin. I haven't talked to my T about this issue yet, it's just so embarrassing!

Can anyone relate to this, or offer any words of wisdom?