If only it was that way while l have many little girls that yes at times want to play or sometimes just want someone to sit with them cus they are so scared there are other parts where the rage and anger burns very deep. I think at first l tried to bury all the alters with their hurt and rage because it was so hard to comtemplate that these feeling even existed let alone inside of me. After a long long time in therapy it was then that the smaller alters started to show them selves and started to talk about wanting and needing to play and to write and to be with others. At first l completely ignored it all until l started to 'find myself' in the park miles and miles away from home and not knowing how, when or why l was even there. T says that the reasons for this is to get me to acknowledge that the littles were there and had their needs to. so now time is allowed for that and alot of work also happens with the hurt and rage that are locked in some of the older ones.
l am sorry for the way you are feeling but yes l too understand as Wanttoheal said ' its not all playing and gardens' but it is also ok to come here and say that its not all ok and we dont want to play
take care of yourself and know that no matter where you are within your journey there are others who come here and know and feel some of the way that you are feeling
silentones