This is an age-old issue. I have been in the same boat for the last 5 years. For me at least, I had to come to terms and let go of some of the power I felt I had to have. They will test your boundaries until you have no hair left. Having a new parent is tough on them as it is us. Hang in there and try and smile a lot. This isn't as much about you as it is about them and their world changing. Vent when you get a chance, but not at them or your wife. The best way to cope with this is to have a strong relationship with your wife. The rest will come in it's own time. Please don't feel that I am blaming you, not so. Life is just so much easier and nicer when we learn to pick our battles.