Went to group today. Apparently it was cancel but three of us were not aware of this so we showed up. We started chatting and telling about our week when one of the guys girlfriend came in just as I was going to talk about what happened last week. I started by saying how hurtful it was when last week someone told me how malicious and mean people with borderline are. The girlfriend pipes right in with "They are, they really are." I tried to explain that it was a misconception, tried to explain about the lack of emotional filters and how the explosions were not meant to be malicious they just happen because emotion hits us so intensely. She just continued say how awful we are because she had a neighbor who was borderline and she was absolutely dreadful so she knows how awful borderlines are. She said this AFTER her boyfriend told her that I was borderline in an attempt to get her to stop. I gave up trying to explain my experience and just started to cry. There was nothing I could do but cry and draw all over my hand. The boyfriend got me a kleenex and at this point she started to cry because it dawned on her just how dreadful she had been. He asked me if I was ok and I just shook my head no. He tried to cheer me up. I managed to stuff my emotions and smile. When I got out to the car I started to cry again. When I got home I was sobbing. I just knelt in the middle of the kitchen floor in a curled up ball and sobbed as I let the emotion ride through me. I was a breath away from head banging but I didn't. See the funny thing is even though I was sobbing and the emotion was riding me hard somewhere deep inside I knew all I had to do was wait and it would blow itself out. This is new for me, this awareness of time and that it won't last forever. Oh, I have talked about it. I have worked on telling myself it but this time I actually FELT it.

Now I am tired. My head hurts my eyes ache I feel horrible. But I know it is just because of the heavy out put of energy that the crying took from me. I am not depressed, just tired and achey. I will be ok.

Can you tell me how it is that people who are afflicted with mental disorders be such bigots toward other people afflicted by a different disorder? She didn't even know me. I had never hurt her in anyway. How could she be so damn mean to me? Doesn't the pain they feel when they are treated poorly based on their illness give them any empathy for other people who suffer the same bias and bigotry?
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson