I've been thinking more on this post, it's growing on me. At first I read it and determined it somehow did not fit my own immediate experience, as I do not lash out when triggered.

But, I just now realized that I've certainly dealt with folks who do have outbursts, who do maybe later say sorry but don't really mean it, don't yet have the depth of understanding.

And what I'm thinking on is how to protect and care for myself more. See, I usually would excuse folks for their poor behavior. I might not even challenge it, I'd remind myself of their dx and history and excuse everything.

But I'd then be leaving myself in the lurch, I'm abandoning myself in a fashion. I'm not listening to my intuition, to the voice within that tells me to get away, to draw good boundaries.

Also, if I do ever lash out, hopefully I will pay good attention, even if what I learn about myself is mighty uncomfortable. And I plan to not just cover everything up with a blithe reminder to all who got hit by me that I should not be held accountable cause I have PTSD.

Somehow there must be a way to balance out being held accountable, and also to be understood in the context of our PTSD.

Sarah