Wow Wisewomen.. this seems so much like a situation I just went through with my step-daughter. I love her but she is also dd and I just couldn't convince her that she shouldn't make a drastic move she went ahead and made anyway. IShe has moved thousand of miles away from her entire support system and not only is she DD but also blind! I'ts been fine so far. My husband, her Dad, wanted to go the court way but I was against it because I thought it would make her feel that all the successful stages she had gone through didn't mean anything. So we have taken our chances, moved back and made sure she knows that if she falls we will caught her. But her lack of love for us is what has me bewildered, like all those years didn't mean anything. She was a premie and came into my life when she was 3 also, but I guess the damage was already done. All the machines that kept her alive also seemed to have mutted her ability to love - detached. I can only tell you it has been a real trial.. so far so good though! I'll hope for the best for you too

Best Always
Deirdre