Hi and Welcome to PC.

I was recently in a similar situation. Years of productive work at the same company. I was promoted, well liked, the whole 9 yards. Late last summer, after 15 almost 16 months with no vacation I decided to take a week off for some much needed rest. After I returned it was 100 times worse then before I left. I tried to lie to myself and never truely paid attention to the warning signs that my body was giving me. I had a few physical ailments that were related to my stress that I ignored. Before I knew it was winter and I was in the middle of hell. Panic attacks and depression hit me full force. I had to begin taking Anti Depressants in early December. I had actually fought that reality for two months before I actually gave into the fact that I was sick, I needed help and I could no longer take the path I was taking. It was killing me. I took extensive medical leave from work which caused a ray of emotions for me. I was still worried about my job, how I was perceived by others at my job and in my day to day life. I finally pushed myslef to go back to work in early February, against the advice of my T, I went back full time. It wasnt long before I was in the same noat again. I was taking days off from work at a time trying to deal with me. I couldnt deal with me until I let go of everything around me. That way, I could finally concentrate on getting well and staying well. I finally quit my job on May 31 this year. I had no choice as I see it. I had to choose me.

I am not saying that this is the decision that you must make. I am just telling you that things may seem to get better but as long as you ignore yourself, the warning signs, it will sneak up on you and make it that much harder to deal with.

I would go out and purchase some books on anxiety. How to cope and what not. Educate yourself on the subject. That is really important. Take time for you. Relax often and learn breathing techniques as this is very helpful in the middle of an axiety attack. You will be alright.

I will stop rambling now and apologize for semi-hi-jacking your thread. Sometimes, i find it helpful to share my personal story so others can not make the same mistakes. I wish peace for you. Please keep us posted. Much love.


Jen