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As a fairly belligerent teenager lately my input would be that if the teenager doesn't feel listened to or respected then it blows everything out of proportion, and makes things 10 times worse...as well as stress like the friend situation only adds fuel to the fire. Regardless of who's right or wrong in the situation, not feeling listened to or respected is like the automatic switch into super-defensive mode, which in turn makes every word seem like a personal attack, so what you clearly see as trying to care is more likely seen as being controlling. The lessons you are trying to teach instead make said teenager want to go as far away in the complete opposite direction as humanly possible. (or maybe I'm just overly irrational when I'm in super-defensive mode? But then again, who is rational when they are defensive?) I don't know your situation because I'm not there so I can't judge, but that I know this from my experience.
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