Dear Grace,

I am so sorry for your pain. Our parents and children can hurt us more than anyone else on earth. You do need to talk to your t about this. Unfortunately I don't know how you are going to escape from your mother's grasp because of her relationship with your children. Otherwise, I would tell you to try to ignore her and let sweet healing come in time.

It may come down to your children visiting their grandmother once a year for a few days. She has made her choice and she has no right to intrude upon your happiness. Do not bend to her wishes, Grace. I've learned the hard way in dealing with my mother that if I give her an inch, she will force me backwards a mile or more.

Hold your head up high when you walk through town. Don't let any of the local nitwits give you a hard time. If anyone asks about you and your Mom, say, "Why do you want to know?" That usually stops them in their tracks. Most people do not want to admit they are being nosy. If he/she continues, look him/her straight in the eye and say, "It's none of your business." If you have to practice in front of a mirror to manage it, do it. It will save you much grief and make people realize you will not be bullied. If in doubt, ask yourself, "Does this person pay my bills?" If the answer is no, his or her opinon of you does not count. Remember this. It took me years of counseling to learn it.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Grace )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

If you need to talk, just let me know.

Sending prayers, love and hugs your way,

Jan