Welcome to psychcentral trac.

I know you can stop this... and you will once you find a better coping skill for your stress... but in the meantime ((((hugs)))) and make sure you are as safe as you can be if you find yourself SI'ing, ok? They make creams that will help fight infection, and have some lidocaine in them and that will help take the physical hurt away.

But the emotional hurt you have is strong. I'm sorry you're hurting.

My younger son is a career army guy... so I hear that.

Do the best you can. Come back and keep us up to date as to how you're doing, ok?