We need help , everything is so hard- we're so separated and no one understands or wants to understand IRL.
my parts are so separate and different and we 're constantly getting shocked because the wrong part is there to do things.
At work there was a job to do that involved talking with people about something we know about. A normal person would be together enough to have access to be able to communicate what they know to other people but we don't. all our parts are separate and we look like a complete idiot that knows nothing. The part that is there at work can only do the work we always do each day -not communicate with others. that's all. It's so frustrating. understatement.
We're having surgery this week and need to tell the boss that we need a day off but the work part isn't able to communicate it to the boss.The pain and the surgery isn't real to her so she can't say it.
i don't know what will happen- i guess i won't show up? It's so terribly hard to live this way.
Then the nerve block surgery is so triggering- we can't live in awareness of it. there have been bad flshbacks because the exact same feelings when we were sixteen have happened again- it's so hard to be here.
Everything is a major problem.
H. didn't get groceries when he went to the store. When we asked him what were we going to do in the morning he said angrily, "We'll starve and die." and my little is so afraid, no one is careful not to say things that hurt. she didn't know that it wasn't real and was crying and so afraid saying Why will we have to starve?
i'm so tired of being on this emotional rollercoaster. We've cried hundreds of tears today- mostly at church, and the pastor talked about casting demons out of two women- they had different voices . i have different voices too. i'm so afraid. i wish some one somewhere would understand or deal with what is wrong- fix it - heal us. Make it better. It feels like everyone IRL wants to make things worse for me because they don't understand about parts.
Everything is so impossible to live. It's so much a struggle and no one appreciates how much effort it is to even stand. We're so tired and upset.
Does anyone else have this struggle? What can help? we've been seeing T for five years and are not better.
everything is so scary and so hard. tears.
kerria
|