do people with ed, esp. anorexia or bulimia, ever get free? if any of you have had either, i think you'll understand what i'm asking. it just seems like my ed is a separate entity that haunts me constantly. it's been probably twenty plus years (since i was ten) since it entered my life. initially, it began with the awakening to the existence of fat--my first diet being with my mom at ten years old. i hate my body and always see it as fat, no matter how low i get. that's the scary part. will i ever be free from this masochistic state of mind? i've tried various antidepressants and basically given up. nothing seems to work. should i even call my psychiatrist, once again, to try one more time? i've been on paxil, prozac, levlox, lexapro, etc. is there one out there that will work without obnoxiously annoying side effects?

my boys are the reason i fight it. i want to live and continue to fight to survive. i'm doing ok right now. i'm just wondering what's worked for everyone else? is this a lifetime curse?