T STILL hasn't called.

He ALWAYS calls way earlier than this.

I feel so horrible I can't even find words for it. I feel sick.

Part of me is worried that something has happened to him.

Part of me is sure that he lied - that his feelings about me HAVE changed, that he thinks I'm pathetic and dirty, that he doesn't even BELIEVE me, that he wishes he had never taken me on as a client in the first place. He probably feels sick that he hugged me at the end of session today. He probably isn't calling because there isn't anything he can say that's both honest AND nice, and he's not going to call and lie.

I know the rational thought is supposed to be "well, he's busy, he'll call later". But why today? He ALWAYS calls. Always, always, always. If he's busy he calls and says he's busy. ALWAYS. And then he calls back later.

What's going on????