Here is a bit of my story. Panic disorder, ocd, agoraphobia, and told borderline personality disorder too.

I was taking Lexapro in 2007 and 2008 for panic attacks, ocd. I have had panic attacks since I was 7 years old. I am now 40. They seem to be real bad for awhile (months, to a year or so) and then I can get myself back to where I can handle life without meds.

I took myself off of Lexapro because of a 10 pound weight gain, Sept. 2008. I didn't eat crap foods and I exercised even more. I even ate less. I have never had a hard time losing weight before. So I panicked and quit. The Lexapro WAS helping with anxiety though. I will give it that. In hindsight, I shouldn't have quit. Maybe the weight would have stopped at 10 pounds.

So 3 months later, December 2008, I couldn't take the anxiety that was back any longer. My Mom had passed away in 2007 and we were best friends, practically an appendage. I have been lost without her. When I stopped Lexapro, all the separation anxiety came rushing back at me and it was hard. I tried natural stuff but it couldn't help. I also have Xanax.

But the Lexapro was not helping like it did before. If you have taken SSRIs, then you know of all the start up side effects, and all the stuff that comes with that. I had just had to go through the withdrawls to get off of it! But the Lexapro was giving me a living hell. Just wasn't working the same. Some people can go back on the same med after awhile and it's all fine again. Not me. By April 2009 I couldn't take it anymore and took myself off again.

Here it is July 21st and I am trying to figure out what to do now. I am so torn. I am having daily anxiety but I just don't want to do the SSRI thing again. This time I would be trying Zoloft. I have read some good things about it, great things, and then I will find some scary things and it puts me right back at the beginning of not wanting to start it again. It's horrible not knowing what to do. My doctor wants me to take it of course, but he is against natural means of healing, and so I have little faith in his appraisal of things. He didn't even know what Taurine was or that people with depression and anxiety have lower amino acid levels---b vitamins, taurine, tryptophan, etc. That scared me. I was thinking, "Yea, you are another puppet at the hands of the pharmacutical companies, sadly.". I have read a ton of pros and cons of SSRIs.

Yes, they do help with anxiety and depression, but from what I have read, they also deplete our natural reserves and we make less because the med is there. Therefore, we can get lower than we were or worse anxiety than before the med, because the chemicals are messing with our neurotransmitters.

Now I have to decide..........take the Zoloft and feel better now (or within a few weeks, rather, after side effects subside if they aren't permanent!), deal with withdrawls and med poop out later or don't take it and feel anxious all the time, except when I take Xanax every few hours with Benedryl? Which, btw, is a nice mixture. It helps the Xanax give you a mellow feeling of ok-ness.

Hope my story helps you. 'Cause I still don't know what to do. I have the Zoloft sitting in my fridge waiting on me to make up my mind. If anyone has a success story with Zoloft I would love to hear it. Long term use would be best to hear from, but anything would help.

Doesn't it seem, when we are sitting at say, a Conoco, watching people go in and out, that you are the only one with anxiety problems, or depression or whatever? It just seems like "they" are just fine, flowing with life like I want to and feel is my natural state but have lost it at the moment. I know that many people are suffering though, because of all the posts all over the net! We are they, and not alone in this, though it sure feels that way.

Good luck to us all.