"ok"? I'm glad he called, I'm guessing it wasn't what you exactly wanted/needed from him though? ((((((((((((treehouse)))))))))))))

Heya,

First:

Second: You did a wonderful thing for yourself. And for lots of people here (me included)! You showed courage to do this with T, and that's really hard to do. Don't belittle your experiences, because I tried talking about it in T today (just generally) and I've been a dissociative mess all day as a result. It's not easy talking about this sort of stuff.

Yeah, I'd imagine it was awful and you feel awful and horrible and icky and gross and you imagine everyone else around you can see how icky and bad and gross you "really" are.

But guess what!

You're not bad. What happened to you WAS bad, but it wasn't your fault.
You're not gross. What happened to you was gross.
You're allowed to feel icky, because that's what anyone else would feel if they were in your shoes.

(Sidenote: It's so much easier saying this to someone else than to say it to myself. I guess that's the way things work - it's hard to take our own advice and we KNOW what's true for someone else if they were stuck in our shoes. But we don't know whats true for US, or we don't allow the truth)

Take some time. Breathe. Let your inner kid(s) out a bit. After all, we've all been wounded as children and not allowed to FEEL that part of us. Yes, it's scary - but it's allowed now because we're allowed to do what's good for us. (Boundaries are hard, hard work!)

Try to stick with the feelings and not shove them under the rug. Sit with them. Cry. Scream. Break something (don't hurt you). Call T again if needed. Write a letter. Write a rant here. Do what you need to do to get through this.

But you did good. Really good. And we're proud of you. And we think you're a pretty awesome woman.