Hello, I am new here, and at age 54, divorced 8 years, refraining from a relationship with any man for the past three years, I met a man last Feb. thru Yahoo Personals. A Psychology Ph.D., an engineer, and a gifted musician, I was smitten from the start. I had never met someone so intelligent and attractive. We became sexual by the second date, and since I had been celibate for a long time, I was unable to perform, experiencing what my OBGYN described as "atrophy.
This was not a small step for me, having been alone by choice for a substantial period of time. I felt anxiety about it and expressed it to the man, but never really rec'd comforting responses, only talk of the sexual attraction. We continued to see each other on the weekends for a couple of months, but during that time, as my anxieties grew, I began to feel some resentment at his detachment. I, on the other hand, was feeling I had fallen in love with him. During our last visit, I discussed this with him, after sex, and he stated bluntly that he was "not in love" with me. I cried as he repeated this several times. This occurred at least two months ago, and I haven't seen him since. I have emailed (not called) him several times, receiving only polite responses. I know I must get over this and move on. I am currently in summer grad school in Fine Art, and grateful for the distraction, but I still come home each day thinking about him.
His dissertation was all about the brain, and he had stated to me that he believed in "nothing" spiritual. I, on the other hand, do lean toward spirituality, and like to attend Church. I had talked to him about my beliefs, and felt that was a turnoff. Also, since I am 54, and he 50, I felt my age might have been a factor, although he sought me out, and at first was very complimentary and seemingly devoted to building a relationship.

I am still in great pain and devastated by the way things worked out. I resist now the desire to contact him. The aftermath leaves me feeling humiliated.

I would like to hear from anyone here regarding this experience. I want to move beyond it!

Seeking