|
Jul 22, 2009, 09:22 AM
|
|
|
* Orange raises hand and asks a question*
How can I stop being so hurt by people who tell me (in their own "nice" way) to get over it, let it go, and move on? Especially when new issues are triggering old memories and feelings? And even though I intellectually get it and it makes perfect sense to do that -- I am struggling right now and the last thing I need to hear is "move on." If it were that easy.
I understand everyone comes to (PTSD) class with different circumstances and degrees of horrors and traumas, but I find it confusing when people offer me advice on something they might have experienced in their own lives (death and grief for example) BUT know little of the effects of MY long-term childhood trauma via sexual, physical and emotional abuse among other wacky issues and how they are all tied in with death?
I know they are coming from a loving, supportive place and mean no harm, but all I hear is "shut up or I'll give you something to cry about" etc. 
One part of me wants to scream and take them back (like the Ghost of Christmas Past and Scrooge) so they can see for themselves WHY I feel/react the way I do. There's a reason!!! 
The other part feels horrible that I feel that way. 
I am getting better at not "staying in the muck" too long and recognizing what triggered me, but I still go there and NOT because I want to! I'm NOT "clinging" to my past nor do I want to stay there!
If I could stop my feet from lifting off the ground and slamming me back in time to relive it all again, I certainly would. But I can't. It just happens.
And I don't know how I'm supposed to just "let it go" like they want me too. It's making me feel like a big pain in the butt and stupid for not getting it. (Old tapes, I know)
I'm working hard at trying to rid myself of the creepy stuff and sometimes I wonder if staying at PC is hurting or helping.
And now I feel guilty for saying anything.
|