Thank you beads...

I'm glad I'm okay in your books. That makes me a bit heppier and feel better I know I'm safe to write here, I guess I just don't want to be judged at all by anyone or for someone that knows me and my username here, to read it and judge me... I guess i feel like that little scared and shy child again and I don't want to be her. I want to be the fighter that I know I can be.

Yes I'm hanging onto the ED because of having no control over the past and that being something I can control now. I think what you said about journalingn is a good idea and i am starting to do this agian. I'm just finding it all quite tough at the moment, but getting there slowly I think. I just need a push from time to time.

I wasnt to let go of all the hurtful things, I want to stop hurting myself and others and just be happy, but sometimes it feels like i don't deserve it and can't give myself that because it would be wrong.. But then.. I know rationally it's not wrong..

Does that make any sense? :/