Dear Eriksplus, Miri and TurquoiseSea,

Thank you all for giving us your strength and support through your words. I know that no one is here on PC.com who has not been hurt badly by someone who should have helped or protected them. All of us here know pain and fear and insecurity.

I am feeling panic inside because we have put the truth and the basics of what happened out here. T helped us to get closer today and we know that somehow we will get where we need to go and the lil one's still in dark despair will get helped.

That said, we are struggling with a desire to medicate ourselves numb. Our normal medication is not strong enough for this kind of fear, not that it gives us the right to up our dosage. We have done that before and do not want to do it today. It is just hard to resist the ones pleading for an absence of fear. Meds are the only way they think they can stop being terrified and that is not true. It's just faster.... but, the truth is they need real help, not a medical binky to pacify what needs healing. we used so many lesser measures trying to get well all by ourselves rather than ask help from people and from God.

OK, not going to talk it to death today. We DO APPRECIATE ALL of YOU here. Talking with so many of you has sped up our progress and given us freedom to be with people who CAN identify with being split. Many good people, singletons, have shut us down or shut us out and we felt so diminished by it. Here we are just one of the members of the club no one joins voluntarily. Thank you all for being here and speaking your stories and your truth.

Leslie and her Pixies