I've been thinking about this lately. During my course of therapy and in trying to understand my feelings for my therapist, there were words used over and over again in literature that struck me as insensitive and negative. Some examples...

"resolving" transference: implies something broken that needs to "fixed" or a wrong that needs to righted

Words I like better: "understand" and "accept" that your past affects who you are in the present and how you behave within relationships

"unhealthy" attachment: judgmental and negative in my mind

Maybe instead: Not being free or true to yourself within a relationship. Behaviors within your relationship are disadvantageous to strengthening the bond in a way that is positive for personal emotional growth and happiness.

"Your feelings are really for a person from your past. " or simply "transference": diminishing, devaluing and hurtful

Instead: Responding to someone in present time in much the same way you responded to someone from your past. Your past experiences affect your motivations, beliefs and behaviors in the present

"Termination" of therapy: implies some sort of death or punishment

How about: "Your personal emotional growth has now shown that you are ready to fly solo and no longer need my assistance in coping with your everyday life. It is time for you to move on and continue to grow, knowing that this relationship has been internalized (ideally) within yourself.

I've just come to better understand my feelings for my therapist in the past month, but all of these things which I read along the way were not helpful to me. Maybe I read too much...Of course the transference part was what always triggered me because I personally value love as a sacred thing. I just think that wording things a little more gently and sensitively would have made it easier for me in the process. Just a thought...

My therapist used the gentle approach, I might add, but reading about all of this ended up being pretty upsetting at the time.

And I'm sure there are many more words that I dislike. I'll add them as I think of them.