Dear JM,

I'm glad you unloaded. You have so much to cope with and it is so very hard. I am sorry that life is so painful right now and you just want to have some fun and some life.

By the way, i think your doc. behaved like an A**H****!!!!!! we are more than our body. a doc needs to look at all of us, not just our mechanics. what a moron!!!!!!!!!!! I've met one's about like him and I felt so angry and hurt by their rotten attitudes toward me.

We lived in Norman, OK for 8 years and we are a texas gal by birth and YES it would be so strange to move to upstate new york from OK. weird. It's so different up there and people are not as open and friendly in public as they are down in the south. I'm sorry you are not in a better place.

my group uses the word alt to describe different ones of us, but we are all people. we all matter. we just do different stuff and some are not as developed as others and some are more about their job than being a person. we lost count on the numbers of ones inside here. some of our abusers did things to constantly split us off more and more. but we will still get help for us all and somehow we will get healed and helped. but having lots of us and lots of different kinds of systems it gets complicated. i am sure you know about that!

i didn't understand all about the T you spoke of but she sounded like she was not doing her job legally and morally. maybe i don't understand but she should treat all of you inside the crew, not just the guys.

i'm sorry about your car being busted and having a chair that breaks down. that really sucks big time. i have chronic pain problems and some body problems that came from the stress of abuse, but not like having to use a wheelchair and i am sorry you have that limit on mobility. i just need two new knees and i've used the chairs in stores when pain was bad and that is like a 30 minute visit to what you have to do all the time. i hate how people don't look at you - they stare at you. it's creepy.

its good you wrote and spoke up JM. i am glad to meet you. i can't promise i will always understand things, but i will do my best to be a listener and be respectful. i usually can't talk about sexual stuff very well, that got so messed up by the coven and i am actually married but this is an area that is still a wreck inside of me. i hate sex. which is kinda strange when you are married. you can tell me stuff though and i will listen, no matter if i get it or not and ill just tell you if i am triggered and can't talk ok??

sorry this got long, but i felt you needed to hear from us and be really heard. keep posting. you did a good job and you do belong here. plus there is a teen garden that is getting along, it's new. some of mine go there a little and are coming along more. leah is my outspoken teen. my little cynic. she was listening in as i wrote you and she likes you too.

i gotto go my fingers are falling off. see ya,

leslie and leah