Melbadaze, I was resistant to the word "abuse" when T would use it in connection to what I had experienced. I would even ask him to stop saying that. And he wouldn't. He said it was abuse and he wasn't going to pretend it wasn't and that I was trying to minimize things. Those are times in therapy that were not fun. I've become a bit better about using that word, but it still jars. One reason I disliked "abuse" was if I used that word, then it meant I was a victim, and I didn't want to be a victim--that is not part of my identity. T and I had quite a few discussions on whether a person who experienced abuse is necessarily a victim. He tried to get me to break that association in my mind, so I could use the word "abuse" in regard to myself without feeling that that made me a victim. I think word choice and language are so important.