Wow. That is confusing. I can understand your bewilderment.

Hope your counseling session yields some results, but only one appointment probably won't be enough to fix anything or change his behavior (not to get you down, just so your expectations aren't dashed...not that I think you expected a miracle...ok I'm rambling). He does need long term therapy plus meds. Getting the process started is very important, however, especially if your relationship is to continue (even if just for the sake of your daughter if you do decide to split up).

I'm not a doctor, nor have I ever taken a psychology course, but from experience with family members who do this double talk...say one thing, do another, act like they never said/did something a day or week later, get offended when you call them on their behavior and act like you're the mean one...I'd guess a personality disorder is also at work. Can't really say which.

Wish you all the best and let us know how you're doing if you feel like it. We're here for you as long as you wish to share.