Sometimes I feel like every other problem I have in my life (the depression, anxiety, lack of motivation to do anything) would be a lot more manageable if I wasn't so alone. Then sometimes I wonder if one causes the other. Does depression cause the loneliness, or vice-versa? Is it both?

I have no friends anymore. I haven't spoken to any of my friends in more than 5 years. I'm reluctant to contact any of them. For 5 years they have been living their lives. I don't want to call them out of the blue and say "Hey remember me from High School?" I've always had problems making friends to begin with. If it's because I'm shy or have Social Anxiety or something else, I have no idea.

My family is a joke. They all have their own lives and their own problems. They aren't the most compassionate people to begin with, with the possible exception of my mother and sister. But like I said, they have their own lives and problems, and I don't expect them to just drop everything.

I'm 23 years old and have never been on a date. That more than anything makes me feel lonely. I have had my share of female friends over the years, some of which I'm sure would have gone out with me had I asked. But for some reason it never happens. It's like I don't pick up on the fact that they would have said yes until weeks or months or (in one case) even years later. All I want is to go out on a date, go with some nice girl to a movie. I just want what everyone else takes for granted.

I'm not working now because of the economy, and I have no money to go back to school. I spend my time half-heartedly looking for a job and watching TV. I feel like I am missing out on a huge part of life.

It just seems like everyone else has friends, everyone else has some kind of romantic history, everyone else is a lot more happy than I am. I like to think of myself as being a fairly normal person besides. Sometimes I think that if I knew what I know now five, ten, fifteen years ago my life would have be so different.

Anyway I just wanted to vent. I'm feeling particularly lonely today. I've got a thousand thoughts going through my head and most of them are pretty sad.