I'd drop the church, the T, & if you could, your H. You need love & support & understanding, not people who demean you in any way, shape, or form. Enough is enough, tell them. I would've shoved that paper down T's throat. You might embarrass him??? Oh come on! How can you embarrass him? Your choice to do something. If people are embarrassed, hurt, it's on them, their responsibility, NOT YOURS. He's playing around w/ you. That is abuse. Report him! You don't need this.
You have a right to be treated w/ respect & dignity. Demand it. Don't let them use you like this, please. It breaks my heart to see this happening. When you could be feeling good things.
Love,
RM